Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Dressing up failure

Congress, in all of its hypocritical wisdom, has expected the Post Office to fund its retirement program as it goes... which is why, of all government agencies, the Post Office is under the most visible financial stress and strain.  The reality is that if all of government had to operate on the same pay-as-you-go system, we'd quickly realize how large the gap is between promises and resources when it comes to Social Security, Medicare, and a host of other "entitlements."

Meanwhile, the folks who deliver the mail have been scratching their heads, trying to figure out how to close the big red lacerations in their balance sheet.  Raise the price of stamps... again...?  Check.  Cull one day of service (Saturday) from the delivery schedule...?  Check.  (Insert snide remark here about government always meaning paying more for less...)

But now they've figured out their salvation.  A clothing line!  THAT'S just what's needed!  Because deep down, Americans equate postal work with stylish adventure wear!
The United States Postal Service on Tuesday announced plans to launch a new product line of apparel and accessories.
The USPS product line will be sold under the brand name “Rain Heat & Snow,” a homage to the service’s unofficial motto, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”
USPS signed on with the apparel company Wahconah Group, Inc. to launch the product line, which will start off with men’s apparel and add a women’s line in the future.
“This agreement will put the Postal Service on the cutting edge of functional fashion,” Postal Service corporate licensing manager Steven Mills said in a statement. 
So rest easy, America.  You may only get mail delivery five days a week now (and really, who needs junk mail on Saturday, anyway), but your mail carriers will now be at "the cutting edge of functional fashion!"

Next up: hiring Psy to do the inevitable marketing spin-off video -- "Going Postal Style..."

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