Kaiser Bill's advice to Obama

This is just classic historical channeling...

Gott im Himmel! Enough with the czars!

You've named 18 so far, according to something I read in Foreign Policy. That includes a border czar, a climate czar, an information technology czar and — I don't think Thomas Jefferson grew enough hemp in his lifetime to dream up this one — the "faith-based czar." Your car czar, Steve Rattner, was in the news last week, trying to keep Chrysler out of bankruptcy.

It took Russia 281 years to accumulate that many czars. Even with hemophilia, repeated assassinations and a level of inbreeding that would gag a Dalmatian breeder. You did it in less than 100 days...

Americans have been calling powerful Washington figures "czars" since the early 1830s. What do you see in the Romanovs that makes them such models of good government? Ivan the Terrible, the first czar, had his enemies dropped alive through the ice on frozen rivers.

Or maybe you're thinking of Nicholas II, the last czar. He was deposed and executed by a guy who looked like a used bookstore clerk. Or Ivan VI, who was locked in a fortress for two decades and then murdered? I'm searching for the lessons any of these might offer for managing your southwestern border...

Maybe it'd just be simpler if Obama made himself "the" Czar. Given the amount of power freely aimed at opponents by those in D.C., we're about due for an autocratic spell.