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BEIRUT, Lebanon — Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah said in a TV interview aired Sunday that he would not have ordered the capture of two Israeli soldiers if he had known it would lead to such a war. Hezbollah guerrillas killed three Israeli soldiers and seized two more in a cross-border raid July 12, which sparked 34 days of fighting that ended Aug. 14.Then again, Nasrallah and his ilk seem more suited to be BE the Spanish Inquisition, rather than on the receiving end of it:
"We did not think, even one percent, that the capture would lead to a war at this time and of this magnitude. You ask me, if I had known on July 11 ... that the operation would lead to such a war, would I do it? I say no, absolutely not," he said in an interview with Lebanon's New TV station.
Israeli Soldier #1: "Hey, did you hear something?"
Israeli Solider #2: "No, now shut up and let me go back to sleep! "
Israeli Soldier #1: "I just asked a simple question, man! I didn't expect a jihad!"
Jarring music accompanies the sudden appearance of the ringleader of Hezbollah:
Nasrallah: NOBODY expects Islamic Jihad! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and political correctness.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and political correctness...and an almost fanatical devotion to sharia law and the quest for martyrdom.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
(exits)
Israeli Sgt: "What was all that racket just now?"
Israeli Soldier #1: "Some nutcase from across the border."
Israeli Sgt: "What, and you didn't shoot him?"
Israeli Soldier #1: "Look, the bloody Rules of Engagement are a little complicated these days. Just trying to be cautious. Jeez, I didn't expect a jihad!"
Jarring music accompanies the sudden appearance of the ringleader of Hamas:
Khaled Mashal: "NOBODY expects Islamic Jihad! Our chief weapon...."
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